Saturday, 21 May 2011

36 weeks tomorrow. All still seems to be well. As of last Monday the baby had started to engage (3/5 palpable, for those keeping track). I can't feel him move so well now. I suspect it's partly because he's started to move lower, but also suspect that he's turned to face more inwards than he was before. I was so hoping that we'd get that really cool stage when you can actually see fingers or toes poking through from the inside, but I think we missed the window for that. It's a shame.

I'm focusing inwards now, I guess. I'm reading some blogs (I can't even think about reading all of them) but can barely make myself comment anywhere. I think I might try and accept that right now I need to focus on myself and my baby.

The anxiety is less than it has been in years. I could have pretty bad pain last night and just wait for it to pass, as long as I could feel the baby moving (and I could). That would have been entirely unheard of a few short weeks ago. (Pretty sure it was ligament pain; I'd had the same pain on the other side a week or so back and the assessment unit couldn't find any reason for it.) Feel fine today.

I guess if all is well I might not update now before the baby's born. I'm looking forward to the labour and birth - although still terrified he won't survive. I guess I'm just looking forward to actually having something positive to do. (Our flat is falling to pieces round our ears but that's another story.)

And I'm really looking forward to meeting our baby.

I just hope it all goes right and he ends up alive and healthy and well.